Home Decor | Housing | Real Estate

There are many ways that you can sabotage your home sale, just by doing or failing to do the 5 things listed in this article. While most people trying to sell homes are actually trying to exchange their home for money, we realize that you, being the avant garde person that you are, plan to defy conventional wisdom and boldly strike out on your own, to ensure that not only will your home fail to sell, or at the very least, fail to sell for the money it could have sold for, it will also be given hardly a passing glance by home seekers on the prowl!

1.    Don’t clean up the yard.
Whatever you do, don’t clean up the yard! You don’t need those nosy home buyers admiring the trim hedges and the leaf-clear ground! In fact, raking leaves might leave them with the impression that the yard is easy to care for! You absolutely CANNOT have that in a house we hope not to sell! The same goes for the garden. Under no circumstances should you waste money and time on tidying the beds, weeding or even dumping some mulch to make things look better. The more forlorn and dead your flora looks, the less likely people will admire it or want to think of it as their own. Bonus points for any dead and decaying plants.

2.    Do not clean or tidy the house.
This is very important. In order to discourage buyers, make sure that you leave rooms untidy and dirty. Don’t under any circumstances let a cleaning product come into contact with anything in the kitchen or bathroom; it will only make things appear fresh and clean. If you have any signs of mold or rot, cultivated them lovingly and encourage them to take up residence underneath the sink and behind the toilet. Avoid vacuuming.

3.    Stay home with the kids and pets.
It’s still your house, right? You have the right to stay right where you are. Don’t go out, but take a good look at the buyers and see what you can do to scare them off. Having one child screaming and the other playing a drum set is a good start. If you pair that with an unruly dog, freshly coated in mud or worse, all the better. Your buyers will probably remember a forgotten appointment 5 minutes into the showing. Don’t forget to point out all the home’s flaws!

4.    Don’t fix anything
If you had to deal with that broken cupboard door for the last two years, don’t allow your buyers to leave without experiencing your home in all of its decaying glory. Remember, fixing things will do nothing more than leave your buyers with the impression that the house is well cared for. If your aim is to ruin the possibility of a sale, you’re shooting yourself in the foot.

5.    Stay away from the outbuildings
In addition to all the nasty rats and spiders that can be lurking around, you don’t want to give your buyers the idea that these structures are useful assets to the property. A rusted lock that takes 20 minutes to force open is better than an oiled deadbolt. Make sure that any electricity is off and that the garage/shed/workshop hasn’t been aired out in at least 6 months.

It can be a challenge to ruin your home sale, but it can be done with adherence to a few simple tips. After all, it’s not like you went to the trouble of hiring a real estate professional, taking out ads, making plans to move, etc. for anything other than idle amusement. Savor the fun and ensure that no one is able to leave with the impression that your home may be right for them.